What do bees do after they are married? || They go on a honeymoon.

Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. || She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.

How do you make a 'one' disappear? || You add a 'g' and it's 'gone'

Got a new tattoo || My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(